Post by Kitty Israel on Apr 6, 2009 15:15:16 GMT -8
Part 1: The Basics
1. What is your full name? Seeta Akatriel Maor
2. Where and when were you born? I was born in Bet, Israel in a small hospital, on Junly fifth
3. Who are/were your parents? My mother is Amira Maor and she’s a housewife who is scared of things she doesn’t fully understand. She never liked me that much because she knew as soon as I was born that I was a Shapeshifter—she knew of her mother-in-law only after her and my father married, and doesn’t know that my brother is a Shapeshifter. I have a very hard time loving my mother, because I knew she never liked me. My father is Ethan Maor, and I love him dearly. He always loved the beauty of the creatures Admael and I changed into, and I think sometimes he really wished that he were also a Shapeshifter. He always made sure to take care of us. Father is a doctor.
4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? My only sibling is my older brother Gabriel Admael Maor, and he is a lion Shapeshifter. He had always been a very caring older brother, and an amazing photographer; when I was still at home, I knew he would someday travel and take pictures which would be famous. Now, though, I don’t know anything about him. In some ways, I wish he had saved me and I know I’m still angry at him for not trying to get me back… but, for all I know, he did try to get me back and I just haven’t ever discovered it.
5. Where do you live now, and with whom? For the time being, I live with a woman in her mid-fifties who knows that Kitty had a rough past, but doesn’t know much else. The house is a nice ranch-style home with beautiful, soothing blues, greens, and tans throughout, and there are a couple other tenants living there as well, though I don’t know a lot about them because I’m not there a lot. I’m nervous that they will find things out about me and then turn me in. All I know about the owner is that I’m to call her Miss Hope and that she’s very kind—a motherly woman who I wish I could trust more than I actually do.
6. What is your occupation? I have two jobs right now, but I’m hoping to get it down to one. The first job I got when I came to the Ramsa area was a waitressing job a few nights a week. I’m really good at staying up for days at a time, so I never get tired on the job. I also work at Affordable Books, though, and hope to soon only work there. I love it there much more, because then I don’t have to deal with quite so many people. And sometimes the owner lets me take some of the used books for free.
7. Write a full physical description of yourself. I’m five feet, three inches tall, and I only weigh about ninety or ninety-five pounds, which is too light, even for someone of my height. I hate looking so extremely skinny, and am trying to gain weight, but it’s difficult with my metabolism and exercise habits. With Israeli parents, my skin is a nice, naturally tanned color and looks pretty, but the scars on it make me feel self-conscious, and anyone at all affiliated with Midnight would know that I was a slave. My eyes are olive green with a garnet ring around my pupils, and I think they are lovely and striking; they seem to flash with my emotions and I love looking at them, though sometimes I wonder what they would look like if they were blue. I love wearing stylish punk clothes, often wearing skinny jeans and t-shirts and zip-up hoodies. I sometimes wear high-heels and dresses, but I am more willing to wear the comfortable-style clothing. My plan is to get a few tattoos, but so far just have scars from my past as a slave.
8. To which social class do you belong? My parents were in the upper-middle class, but right now, I’m not sure how I would be classed.
9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? My main weakness would have to be my weight, because I’m small and not expected to be strong and, even though I have the strength of my animal counterpart (black jaguar), people still don’t expect this of me, and even with that, my weight is still a factor of how well I would be able to defend myself. I have no allergies that I know of.
10. Are you right- or left-handed? Plain old right-handed.
11. What does your voice sound like? When I’m singing, I think I have a beautiful voice, with a sort of jazzy feel to it. When I’m just speaking, it’s sort of smoky and exotic, because of my upbringing in Israel.
12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? I find myself thinking (or maybe I’m saying it out loud, I don’t know) “Don’t panic,” a lot.
13. What do you have in your pockets? If I don’t bring a purse with me, I have my iPhone and some cash with me.
14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? Does no concept of time count as a quirk? I hum to myself sometimes, because I find music extremely soothing. A defining characteristic, I think, would be the way I sometimes dance as I’m walking—not outright dancing, but my movements are lighter, as if I were dancing.
Part 2: Growing Up
15. How would you describe your childhood in general? Very two-sided. When it came to my mother, I was sad that she could never really look me in the eye, and never really cared for me. I wanted so badly for her to love me, but I know she never can. On the side of my father, brother, and grand-parents, I was loved and adored as a young girl should be. Dancing was always encouraged and celebrated, and I loved to sing for my grandmother, because she loved my reedy voice. From all of them, I have learned how I would raise a child, if I were ever to have one.
16. What is your earliest memory? Begging to stop school and only dance… I was five, I think, and had just started school. I did well, but I always loved dancing much more than classes.
17. How much schooling have you had? I didn’t graduate high school, in fact, I only made it through half of my first year of high school before I was taken away. I’ve learned a lot from books since then, but still wish I could have graduated.
18. Did you enjoy school? Looking back, I know that I did; at the time, I always wished I could just be at a dance academy.
19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? My dance class was the place where I first discovered my gift of enchanting people through dance. Though this gift is still a curse in many ways, I do wish I were able to control it better and hone it.
20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. Grandmother Eeva was a woman who I admired, because she was strong and beautiful and confident. My brother, Admael, was also a role model because he was so willing to care for people.
21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? Everyone but my mother.
22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? A prima ballerina.
23. As a child, what were your favorite activities? As I’m sure I’ve said a million times, dancing was my one and only favorite activity.
24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? I was eager and energetic with most everyone, though I got shy at times.
25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? My friends were all in my dance troupe, and they liked me very much. The girls were sweet and fun and most of them loved dance as much as I did. They didn’t know that I was a Shapeshifter, though, which is probably a good thing. It was difficult to keep that secret at times, but I grew used to having to keep it quiet.
26. When and with whom was your first kiss? A boy in my dance troupe named Michael. He was handsome and strong, and the lead male role in Swan Lake, with me as the lead female role.
27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? I’m not a virgin, though I don’t like to think about who or how I lost my virginity…
28. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. Vampire, Shapeshifter, Witch), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities.I’m a Shapeshifter, a trait which was passed down from my father’s side of the family. My grandmother was a jaguar Shapeshifter, and I am a black panther, so much like her. I always knew I would Shift someday, and I was prepared for it by my brother and grandmother, who had experienced it before. I was 11 the first time I changed, and it was amazing, and I looked a lot like a youn black jaguar. Now, though I am older, I am still a bit small for my species.
Part 3: Past Influences
29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? I would say the day I escaped from my final residence as a slave. I still like to think that I will never go back, but I can’t be too sure.
30. Who has had the most influence on you? I’m not really sure who has had the most influence on me.
31. What do you consider your greatest achievement? My greatest achievement… before I was sold, it would be my fine performance in Swan Lake; since then, it would be my escape.
32. What is your greatest regret? Not being able to make my mother love me.
33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? Using my extra power rooted in dance to seduce one of my owners into letting me escape.
34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? Not that I know of.
35. When was the time you were the most frightened? The first time I was raped and beaten.
36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? The day I stumbled upon my mother telling my father that she could never love me knowing what I was. I thought there was something wrong with me; now I know there was something wrong with her.
37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? I think that in a lot of ways, I would sacrifice my gift of Shapeshifting to never have had to live through the things I’ve been forced to live through. If only my mother had been able to love me, things would have been different.
38. What is your best memory? Every dance recital, every moment with my brother and father.
39. What is your worst memory? The day I was raped and beaten.
Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions
40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? I try to be simply a realist.
41. What is your greatest fear? Going back.
42. What are your religious views? I can’t say I really have anything, but I believe in the ground beneath my feet.
43. What are your political views? I don’t follow politics.
44. What are your views on sex? At this point in my life, I can’t think about it. But I always believed it should be for two people who love each other.
45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? I would kill any of my previous owners if I had the strength. I’m not sure when killing is acceptable, though I don’t think vampires should kill to feed… I think out of defense, it is acceptable.
46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing anybeing could do? Look at the histories of slavery of any kind, and that, to me, is the most cruel.
47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Perhaps, though I have not experienced anything close to either.
48. What do you believe makes a successful life? Living a life full of love and vivaciousness.
49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? Of course I hide a great many things, because I don’t want them to know me and judge me by my past. I want them to see a strong young woman who has struggled, though I’m not sure what image I actually project; most likely one of fear and lacking in trust.
50. Do you have any biases or prejudices? Mostly, I steer clear of all vampires because I view them as cruel and cold beings.
51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? If I could have, I would have refused every dance that helped my owners manipulate others, because I knew that the people were totally defenseless.
52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? Freedom.
Part 5: Relationships With Others
53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? I keep people at a distance for as long as I possibly can. If they stay at arm’s length, then they can’t see all of the hurt that I hold inside. When they stay at a distance, I can’t bare my soul and spill secrets… I know they could help share the burden, but I’m scared that they would judge me.
54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Right now, myself, because I’m the only one who really knows me.
55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why? No one, other than myself, when I actually respect myself.
56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. I have no “friends,” only acquaintances who are the closest to being friends that I have right now.
57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. No one to hold me in their arms, no one to keep me safe and warm; only my own words keep me sane.
58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. Never.
59. What do you look for in a potential lover? I suppose I would look for someone who was strong and willing to listen, to take on my pain and sufferings and love me for me. They would help me rebuild the shell I have become and remind me of the warmth that used to reach me all the time, not just when I danced.
60. How close are you to your family? I haven’t seen them in almost five years now, so I would say not close at all.
61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? No, and I can’t see this happening any time soon. Although, I would someday like to have children.
62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? I have no one to turn to, but perhaps Miss Hope?
63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? No one.
64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you? I like to think that my mother simply told my family I had died, and that everyone misses me still.
65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why? Amira Maor, because she was never a mother and should never have hated me enough to sell her own flesh and blood.
66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Yes, I argue with people, but only when they try to get close. Otherwise, I avoid harsh interactions because I don’t want to break down.
67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? Nope. I prefer to fade into the background right now. Before, though, I enjoyed leading my dance lessons and doing what I could. I suppose if it were about dance, I would lead… otherwise, I don’t want to be noticed at this point in my life.
68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? I have a difficult time with this, because then I’m not able to see everything that everyone is doing, and being nervous; you never know who could be lurking in a crowd.
69. Do you care what others think of you? I suppose I do, because I want them to think of me as a quiet person who is just shy and has a tough outer shell, so they will keep their distance.
Part 6: Likes And Dislikes
70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Dance, singing, dance, reading, and dance.
71. What is your most treasured possession? My pair of Gaynor Miden pointe slippers, custom made for me.
72. What is your favorite color? Green like the forest, blue like a perfectly open sky, midnight blue like the clearest night, yellow like a sun-kissed meadow; anywhere that inspiration can be found, and any place that is open and inviting.
73. What is your favorite food? I’m not sure what my favorite thing is, though I like spicy foods, fruits and veggies.
74. What, if anything, do you like to read? Lots of fantasy books, as well as classics, historical fiction… really, anything that doesn’t have to do with dance. Funny, isn’t it?
75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? Music, dance, a good book.
76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? Never have and never will.
77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Either working or wandering around for a while before dancing in my room at Miss Hope’s house and then going to sleep.
78. What makes you laugh? I can’t say I’ve actually laughed in a while. I may sometimes fake laughter, though.
79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Someone saying I’m stupid.[/colors]
80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Since I do have insomnia, I normally dance or go for walks. Sometimes I read, but most of the time, I like to get out and do something.
81. How do you deal with stress? Through singing and dancing, or by escaping in a book.
82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? I suppose I’m more spontaneous.
83. What are your pet peeves? I’m not sure, I guess it would be people talking incessantly when I want quiet.
Part 7: Self Images And Etc.
84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? I have little concept of time and therefore find it impossible to keep a routine. The only thing that is a constant would be finding at least an hour every day to keep up with a dance regiment I created for myself. When I don’t get this time, I feel tired and depressed, as if a piece of my soul is only put in after I dance; I think this is connected to the magic buried in me… I always wonder if I could perhaps learn how to use my power of… I suppose it is persuasion of sorts… anyway, I wonder if I could learn to use it over people without having to dance.
85. What is your greatest strength as a person? I never break down, but find other ways to cope and keep the tears away.
86. What is your greatest weakness? I can’t open up.
87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Keeping people way; if I could find someone to help me open up, I know I could be happier.
88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Introverted since Midnight.
89. Are you generally organized or messy? I’m in between; some of my things must be cluttered, other things have to be organized. I suppose I am mostly organized, though.
90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. Good: Dancing, singing, and fading into the background. Bad: Proper social interaction (though I force myself to get by at work), asking others for help, and keeping track of time and reality.
91. Do you like yourself? I suppose.
92. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? To be a part of a famous dance troupe and have the main role.
93. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I’m not sure; I guess I just hope to survive the next five years, as pathetic as that sounds.
94. If you could choose, how would you want to die? Quickly and without pain.
95. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. I don’t have three things I’d do.
96. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? Being one of the greatest dancers of my time.
97. What three words best describe your personality? Withdrawn, defensive, wanting to live again.
98. What three words would others probably use to describe you? Rude, paranoid, haunted.
1. What is your full name? Seeta Akatriel Maor
2. Where and when were you born? I was born in Bet, Israel in a small hospital, on Junly fifth
3. Who are/were your parents? My mother is Amira Maor and she’s a housewife who is scared of things she doesn’t fully understand. She never liked me that much because she knew as soon as I was born that I was a Shapeshifter—she knew of her mother-in-law only after her and my father married, and doesn’t know that my brother is a Shapeshifter. I have a very hard time loving my mother, because I knew she never liked me. My father is Ethan Maor, and I love him dearly. He always loved the beauty of the creatures Admael and I changed into, and I think sometimes he really wished that he were also a Shapeshifter. He always made sure to take care of us. Father is a doctor.
4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? My only sibling is my older brother Gabriel Admael Maor, and he is a lion Shapeshifter. He had always been a very caring older brother, and an amazing photographer; when I was still at home, I knew he would someday travel and take pictures which would be famous. Now, though, I don’t know anything about him. In some ways, I wish he had saved me and I know I’m still angry at him for not trying to get me back… but, for all I know, he did try to get me back and I just haven’t ever discovered it.
5. Where do you live now, and with whom? For the time being, I live with a woman in her mid-fifties who knows that Kitty had a rough past, but doesn’t know much else. The house is a nice ranch-style home with beautiful, soothing blues, greens, and tans throughout, and there are a couple other tenants living there as well, though I don’t know a lot about them because I’m not there a lot. I’m nervous that they will find things out about me and then turn me in. All I know about the owner is that I’m to call her Miss Hope and that she’s very kind—a motherly woman who I wish I could trust more than I actually do.
6. What is your occupation? I have two jobs right now, but I’m hoping to get it down to one. The first job I got when I came to the Ramsa area was a waitressing job a few nights a week. I’m really good at staying up for days at a time, so I never get tired on the job. I also work at Affordable Books, though, and hope to soon only work there. I love it there much more, because then I don’t have to deal with quite so many people. And sometimes the owner lets me take some of the used books for free.
7. Write a full physical description of yourself. I’m five feet, three inches tall, and I only weigh about ninety or ninety-five pounds, which is too light, even for someone of my height. I hate looking so extremely skinny, and am trying to gain weight, but it’s difficult with my metabolism and exercise habits. With Israeli parents, my skin is a nice, naturally tanned color and looks pretty, but the scars on it make me feel self-conscious, and anyone at all affiliated with Midnight would know that I was a slave. My eyes are olive green with a garnet ring around my pupils, and I think they are lovely and striking; they seem to flash with my emotions and I love looking at them, though sometimes I wonder what they would look like if they were blue. I love wearing stylish punk clothes, often wearing skinny jeans and t-shirts and zip-up hoodies. I sometimes wear high-heels and dresses, but I am more willing to wear the comfortable-style clothing. My plan is to get a few tattoos, but so far just have scars from my past as a slave.
8. To which social class do you belong? My parents were in the upper-middle class, but right now, I’m not sure how I would be classed.
9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? My main weakness would have to be my weight, because I’m small and not expected to be strong and, even though I have the strength of my animal counterpart (black jaguar), people still don’t expect this of me, and even with that, my weight is still a factor of how well I would be able to defend myself. I have no allergies that I know of.
10. Are you right- or left-handed? Plain old right-handed.
11. What does your voice sound like? When I’m singing, I think I have a beautiful voice, with a sort of jazzy feel to it. When I’m just speaking, it’s sort of smoky and exotic, because of my upbringing in Israel.
12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? I find myself thinking (or maybe I’m saying it out loud, I don’t know) “Don’t panic,” a lot.
13. What do you have in your pockets? If I don’t bring a purse with me, I have my iPhone and some cash with me.
14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? Does no concept of time count as a quirk? I hum to myself sometimes, because I find music extremely soothing. A defining characteristic, I think, would be the way I sometimes dance as I’m walking—not outright dancing, but my movements are lighter, as if I were dancing.
Part 2: Growing Up
15. How would you describe your childhood in general? Very two-sided. When it came to my mother, I was sad that she could never really look me in the eye, and never really cared for me. I wanted so badly for her to love me, but I know she never can. On the side of my father, brother, and grand-parents, I was loved and adored as a young girl should be. Dancing was always encouraged and celebrated, and I loved to sing for my grandmother, because she loved my reedy voice. From all of them, I have learned how I would raise a child, if I were ever to have one.
16. What is your earliest memory? Begging to stop school and only dance… I was five, I think, and had just started school. I did well, but I always loved dancing much more than classes.
17. How much schooling have you had? I didn’t graduate high school, in fact, I only made it through half of my first year of high school before I was taken away. I’ve learned a lot from books since then, but still wish I could have graduated.
18. Did you enjoy school? Looking back, I know that I did; at the time, I always wished I could just be at a dance academy.
19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? My dance class was the place where I first discovered my gift of enchanting people through dance. Though this gift is still a curse in many ways, I do wish I were able to control it better and hone it.
20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. Grandmother Eeva was a woman who I admired, because she was strong and beautiful and confident. My brother, Admael, was also a role model because he was so willing to care for people.
21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? Everyone but my mother.
22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? A prima ballerina.
23. As a child, what were your favorite activities? As I’m sure I’ve said a million times, dancing was my one and only favorite activity.
24. As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? I was eager and energetic with most everyone, though I got shy at times.
25. As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? My friends were all in my dance troupe, and they liked me very much. The girls were sweet and fun and most of them loved dance as much as I did. They didn’t know that I was a Shapeshifter, though, which is probably a good thing. It was difficult to keep that secret at times, but I grew used to having to keep it quiet.
26. When and with whom was your first kiss? A boy in my dance troupe named Michael. He was handsome and strong, and the lead male role in Swan Lake, with me as the lead female role.
27. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? I’m not a virgin, though I don’t like to think about who or how I lost my virginity…
28. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. Vampire, Shapeshifter, Witch), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities.I’m a Shapeshifter, a trait which was passed down from my father’s side of the family. My grandmother was a jaguar Shapeshifter, and I am a black panther, so much like her. I always knew I would Shift someday, and I was prepared for it by my brother and grandmother, who had experienced it before. I was 11 the first time I changed, and it was amazing, and I looked a lot like a youn black jaguar. Now, though I am older, I am still a bit small for my species.
Part 3: Past Influences
29. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? I would say the day I escaped from my final residence as a slave. I still like to think that I will never go back, but I can’t be too sure.
30. Who has had the most influence on you? I’m not really sure who has had the most influence on me.
31. What do you consider your greatest achievement? My greatest achievement… before I was sold, it would be my fine performance in Swan Lake; since then, it would be my escape.
32. What is your greatest regret? Not being able to make my mother love me.
33. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? Using my extra power rooted in dance to seduce one of my owners into letting me escape.
34. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? Not that I know of.
35. When was the time you were the most frightened? The first time I was raped and beaten.
36. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? The day I stumbled upon my mother telling my father that she could never love me knowing what I was. I thought there was something wrong with me; now I know there was something wrong with her.
37. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? I think that in a lot of ways, I would sacrifice my gift of Shapeshifting to never have had to live through the things I’ve been forced to live through. If only my mother had been able to love me, things would have been different.
38. What is your best memory? Every dance recital, every moment with my brother and father.
39. What is your worst memory? The day I was raped and beaten.
Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions
40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? I try to be simply a realist.
41. What is your greatest fear? Going back.
42. What are your religious views? I can’t say I really have anything, but I believe in the ground beneath my feet.
43. What are your political views? I don’t follow politics.
44. What are your views on sex? At this point in my life, I can’t think about it. But I always believed it should be for two people who love each other.
45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? I would kill any of my previous owners if I had the strength. I’m not sure when killing is acceptable, though I don’t think vampires should kill to feed… I think out of defense, it is acceptable.
46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing anybeing could do? Look at the histories of slavery of any kind, and that, to me, is the most cruel.
47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Perhaps, though I have not experienced anything close to either.
48. What do you believe makes a successful life? Living a life full of love and vivaciousness.
49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? Of course I hide a great many things, because I don’t want them to know me and judge me by my past. I want them to see a strong young woman who has struggled, though I’m not sure what image I actually project; most likely one of fear and lacking in trust.
50. Do you have any biases or prejudices? Mostly, I steer clear of all vampires because I view them as cruel and cold beings.
51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? If I could have, I would have refused every dance that helped my owners manipulate others, because I knew that the people were totally defenseless.
52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? Freedom.
Part 5: Relationships With Others
53. In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? I keep people at a distance for as long as I possibly can. If they stay at arm’s length, then they can’t see all of the hurt that I hold inside. When they stay at a distance, I can’t bare my soul and spill secrets… I know they could help share the burden, but I’m scared that they would judge me.
54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Right now, myself, because I’m the only one who really knows me.
55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why? No one, other than myself, when I actually respect myself.
56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. I have no “friends,” only acquaintances who are the closest to being friends that I have right now.
57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. No one to hold me in their arms, no one to keep me safe and warm; only my own words keep me sane.
58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. Never.
59. What do you look for in a potential lover? I suppose I would look for someone who was strong and willing to listen, to take on my pain and sufferings and love me for me. They would help me rebuild the shell I have become and remind me of the warmth that used to reach me all the time, not just when I danced.
60. How close are you to your family? I haven’t seen them in almost five years now, so I would say not close at all.
61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? No, and I can’t see this happening any time soon. Although, I would someday like to have children.
62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? I have no one to turn to, but perhaps Miss Hope?
63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? No one.
64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you? I like to think that my mother simply told my family I had died, and that everyone misses me still.
65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why? Amira Maor, because she was never a mother and should never have hated me enough to sell her own flesh and blood.
66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Yes, I argue with people, but only when they try to get close. Otherwise, I avoid harsh interactions because I don’t want to break down.
67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? Nope. I prefer to fade into the background right now. Before, though, I enjoyed leading my dance lessons and doing what I could. I suppose if it were about dance, I would lead… otherwise, I don’t want to be noticed at this point in my life.
68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? I have a difficult time with this, because then I’m not able to see everything that everyone is doing, and being nervous; you never know who could be lurking in a crowd.
69. Do you care what others think of you? I suppose I do, because I want them to think of me as a quiet person who is just shy and has a tough outer shell, so they will keep their distance.
Part 6: Likes And Dislikes
70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Dance, singing, dance, reading, and dance.
71. What is your most treasured possession? My pair of Gaynor Miden pointe slippers, custom made for me.
72. What is your favorite color? Green like the forest, blue like a perfectly open sky, midnight blue like the clearest night, yellow like a sun-kissed meadow; anywhere that inspiration can be found, and any place that is open and inviting.
73. What is your favorite food? I’m not sure what my favorite thing is, though I like spicy foods, fruits and veggies.
74. What, if anything, do you like to read? Lots of fantasy books, as well as classics, historical fiction… really, anything that doesn’t have to do with dance. Funny, isn’t it?
75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? Music, dance, a good book.
76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? Never have and never will.
77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Either working or wandering around for a while before dancing in my room at Miss Hope’s house and then going to sleep.
78. What makes you laugh? I can’t say I’ve actually laughed in a while. I may sometimes fake laughter, though.
79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Someone saying I’m stupid.[/colors]
80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Since I do have insomnia, I normally dance or go for walks. Sometimes I read, but most of the time, I like to get out and do something.
81. How do you deal with stress? Through singing and dancing, or by escaping in a book.
82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? I suppose I’m more spontaneous.
83. What are your pet peeves? I’m not sure, I guess it would be people talking incessantly when I want quiet.
Part 7: Self Images And Etc.
84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? I have little concept of time and therefore find it impossible to keep a routine. The only thing that is a constant would be finding at least an hour every day to keep up with a dance regiment I created for myself. When I don’t get this time, I feel tired and depressed, as if a piece of my soul is only put in after I dance; I think this is connected to the magic buried in me… I always wonder if I could perhaps learn how to use my power of… I suppose it is persuasion of sorts… anyway, I wonder if I could learn to use it over people without having to dance.
85. What is your greatest strength as a person? I never break down, but find other ways to cope and keep the tears away.
86. What is your greatest weakness? I can’t open up.
87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Keeping people way; if I could find someone to help me open up, I know I could be happier.
88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Introverted since Midnight.
89. Are you generally organized or messy? I’m in between; some of my things must be cluttered, other things have to be organized. I suppose I am mostly organized, though.
90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. Good: Dancing, singing, and fading into the background. Bad: Proper social interaction (though I force myself to get by at work), asking others for help, and keeping track of time and reality.
91. Do you like yourself? I suppose.
92. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? To be a part of a famous dance troupe and have the main role.
93. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I’m not sure; I guess I just hope to survive the next five years, as pathetic as that sounds.
94. If you could choose, how would you want to die? Quickly and without pain.
95. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. I don’t have three things I’d do.
96. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? Being one of the greatest dancers of my time.
97. What three words best describe your personality? Withdrawn, defensive, wanting to live again.
98. What three words would others probably use to describe you? Rude, paranoid, haunted.
